Subbing the world

Righting copywriting wrongs, one word at a time

Experience Corner: Stapling

Since I announced the launch of Experience Corner, the contributions have been flooding in. By which I mean that, just as you have one flood, I’ve had one contribution.

Luckily, it’s from the ever-dependable Nick Asbury. My original post inspired him to see if even the most mundane of products got the ‘experience’ treatment. And he hit the jackpot immediately:

Stapling experience

Yes, www.rapidelectricstapler.com popped up top of the Google results for ‘stapling experience’.

However, I was in two minds about allowing this into Experience Corner. After all, undeniably mundane as stapling is, we are talking electric stapling here. This is much more than the squeezing of leaves between two manual jaws, and hammering down with the heel of the hand. This is rapid, dependable stapling at hitherto unimagined degrees of accuracy and efficiency.

As Rapid Electric Stapler points out breathlessly, ‘People can staple non-stop with the help of these electric staplers.’ He (or she, it’s not clear) then goes on to reassure us that:

This technology has reduced the worries of people regarding stapling.

And we can all be grateful for that.

Is it so hard, I found myself wondering, to believe that the sheer physical pleasure of deploying an instrument such as the Stanley Electric Stapler might well be sufficiently overwhelming to warrant the name of experience?

Indeed, is that over-used term not perhaps too meagre for the transfiguring, Damascene encounter that occurs when one moves from antiquated manual labour to the electrically-powered thrust and fold of those precise steel prongs? Do we not demean this near-religious passion by including it rather sarcastically in our so-called ‘Experience Corner’? I fear that perhaps we do. I am ashamed.

The last words must be left to Rapid Electric Stapler, that anonymous champion of the powered paper-fixing device:

[In] today’s cutthroat world of business one must keep abreast with evolving technologies and embrace it to make their business a success.

How true. How true.

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Filed under: Experience Corner

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